How you define yourself determines your personal value.
-Brian Bloye
Leadership and life are not all sunshine and roses. There are going to be times when you question your leadership, the direction of your life and the decision that you made. Some of your suffering will come from dumb decisions that you make. Others will come from things totally out of your control.
You either just walked out of a season of hurt, or you are on the way to a time of hurt. Be encouraged that you are not alone in this journey and that you have a great deal of influence of how long that journey is.
You are not defined by your suffering or challenges.
We all make mistakes in our leadership and in life in general. Those mistakes only define you if you allow them to. How you define yourself determines your personal value. Don’t sell yourself short by living with the failures and suffering of your life. If a lion believed that they were a house cat, do you think that they would live to their fullest potential? Would they live out their purpose? Not likely.
Are you a lion living like a house cat because of your hurt? Do you believe that you are the lion? I do. I believe that you have so much potential to impact and inspire others.
Don’t try to be noble and suffer alone.
Leaders who are suffering and hurting have a tendency to isolate themselves. This is inherently a male quality to begin with, so the situation only compounds the problem for you if you are a guy. Don’t try to be noble or the tough guy by trying to suffer alone. Weakness is not asking for help. Seek guidance in a counselor, minister or trusted advisor. Share your struggles with your significant other. Join an accountability group and let them help you walk out of this time.
Isolation does little to help you climb out of your struggles. At best, it prolongs the journey to healing and recovery and but it can also lead to some serious mental and relationship setbacks. You are not meant to do life alone. You are not meant to lead alone. You are not meant to suffer alone.
Lean into your purpose in life.
Don’t give up on your yourself or your leadership. You may be the only positive influence in someone else’s life. Just as no one else knows what you truly go through on a daily basis, the same applies to those around you. There is one thing that I can almost guarantee and that is that you influence more people than you think.
When you feel broken and hurt by people and situations in life remember your purpose here on earth. Seek help from others if you need assistance in finding that purpose. I tell the people that I coach that you should have three points to your purpose as a leader. You should be replicating more leaders like yourself. You should be impacting your organization and community for the better good. Finally, no matter what you work on, leave it better than you found it.
Experiencing hurt in leadership is not fun. I believe that you can make it through this challenging time. Get help, know your true value and hold true to your purpose. People are counting on you.
Make a better tomorrow.
-ZH
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