I know that it’s frustrating when you put so much effort into something and come up short. Besides, that’s what we teach; work hard, play hard, and enjoy life. It is possible to try to force things too much at times and come across as trying too hard. Let’s look at some ways to tell if we are trying too hard.

Pay attention to social cues
In social settings, especially group ones, the people aren’t likely going to outright tell you that you are coming across as trying too hard. You are going to have to go back to your sleuthing skills, (PTB show #97, Be the Detective) and look for the cues and clues that people are giving out. Here are some things to begin to look for.

1. A lack of eye contact.
2. A different level of enthusiasm in their engagement.
3. Short responses.
4. Laughing more with the other people in the group instead of you.
5. Little acknowledgment to your responses or contribution.

At this point, the other person is ready to move on from the conversation or interaction. This can be perceived as trying too hard in a hurry if you overstay your welcome with someone.

A personal cue that someone may give you is that interact differently with you, (lower energy, engagement level) than they do other people.

Pay attention to your health
Do you suffer from high stress or overthinking interactions? Trying too hard can turn into a cycle in your life. You are disappointed in a relationship or work situation, so you try harder. Since you are trying too hard, it fails to meets expectation again. Rinse and repeat. This type of cycle actually harms your mental, physical and spiritual health. If you feel yourself in this cycle, take a break for a while. Lets things settle, regroup yourself and your expectations.

Trying too hard can also push you to take on too much at work, over-committing in a relationship and working more hours than you need to be.

Now what?
Knowing is half the battle. Once you know and acknowledge it, take some time to yourself. Level set your workload, evaluate your expectations and relax a bit. Seek help from others if you believe that their help is what you need to break the cycle. Your body and mind may thank you and you may just end up at your end result faster than ever now.

Make a better tomorrow.