A person can only drive you crazy if you give them the keys.
Have you ever worked with, went to school with or interacted with someone who just drove you nuts? There is good news for you then!
They don’t have power over you. In fact, no one can make you feel anything unless you let them.
Even though it seems like the other person has all the power in the interaction, you are the one that actually possesses all the power. What happens when you let that person drive you over the edge, is that you’ve unknowingly handed them control over you. The person may in fact not even realize that they have the power that you have given them. They are just eating their bag of chips really loudly and enjoying life.
Recognize your triggers & see the bigger picture.
Everyone has those triggers that set us off, and those that drive us nuts typically have them in spades. Is it when they yell across the room? Always interjecting themselves and trying to own a conversation? Inconsiderate habits? It can be these or any number of other things that begin to set you off internally. Know your triggers so that you can prepare yourself when you see them start to surface. Also, think through the bigger picture. Is this something that would matter to you on your death bed or in a time of other personal crisis? If not, then it’s a sign that you probably should let some of it go.
Reframe how you communicate about the individual or situation.
Think through how you communicate about the person or situation. Instead of saying, “They are loud and obnoxious,” turn it into a more objective statement like, “They speak very loudly when they are in meetings.” It changes your thought process to a more neutral one and helps others see the problem without the baggage that we unknowingly attach to things. If you have a good relationship overall with the person, approaching them this way will also make them less defensive and more responsive to what you have to say.
Don’t feed the beast.
Things will happen to set you off. You’re carrying extra baggage today because there are some issues at home. You got cut off in traffic when you are already late for a meeting. It happens. Just don’t continue to feed that destructive beast in your mind. You don’t have to tell yourself how this always happens to you, how you never catch a break, how we are so “unlucky.” If you aren’t careful that beast will grow and the next thing you know, it’s hours or days later and it is still occupying your mind. Acknowledge the moment and then move on. Again, you have the power to not let it get to you in the first place!
Don’t let others control your day. After all, you’re the one in charge.
Make a better tomorrow.
-ZH